Thursday, September 11, 2008

Something's Gotta Give....

I am watching Something's Gotta Give, a movie I love so much, for some strange reason. Maybe the reason that I love this so much is that it's the theme of my life! Really Something's Gotta Give...please just something. If it's not work, it's friends, it's love, it's love lost and it's never ending. I wonder if one day it just lifts like a fog over a valley and you can finally see everything clearly.

Will I get a new job, will I ever be in love again, can I have simple friendships with out the drama, can I afford to do all things I want, will I be happy, will I be successful....something's gotta give right?

That's been my thought all this year, if something could become easy then I could finally do all that I wanted. I have come to the conclusion, life (maybe it's just for me) isn't going to be that easy. There's fighting, there's crying, there's stress, there's disappointments and the hope of something greater. I just hope that I can one day find the much needed balance so I can sit down and live the life that I have had this week. One that was enjoyable, exciting and made me feel worth something....and it's already started to fade. 

Listening to the moving Cat Power made me cry, again, tonight....I wonder when it all becomes easier. When something is going to give....

These are one of those rants that I discussed in the beginning. My incoherent rambling, so I can sleep and hopefully get eight full hours for once this week.

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